Something I often think about, when I’m around friends with children is who these children really are. By that I mean, do these parents, my friends, shuffle their kids out in front of their friends only for show, or is there a real relationship between them? Sometimes, I’m unsure. It’s easy to parade your offspring and most people actually do this, but to what effect?
Sure little Tommy or Sarah is a great pupil and maybe even a budding musician, or professional athlete. But beyond dragging them out in front of their friends, do those parents actually have a sustainable relationship with those kids? More questions than answers here as I always believed when I was a kid that my parents brought my sister and I out in front of their friends for show.
How smart we were, our latest accomplishments. Then, back to our rooms. Of course as we became older, we weren’t delegated to our bedrooms, but an area where we could watch and listen to the adults in the room. Some are going to think that’s horrifying, but in those days (a very long time ago) it was what parents did. It has nothing to do with how much those parents loved their children but more about those same status in the community.
As a single parent, I often wonder what my role is in my daughter’s development. Am I a catsalyst or just an agent to help her determine her own life? I hope it’s the later and not the former. The change that affected me the most in my life was becoming a parent. I had to decide, very early on, what my role would be in her life. One of those, which I realized very early, was to express my feelings for her, to her. I believe it’s important for a child to know that they are loved, unconditionally, and to actually hear those words from their parent(s).
When I was growing up, hearing those words were rare; Not that my parents didn’t love me, but they had an issue expressing that love towards their children. That was then and I decided I was never going to have my daughter question whether or not I loved her. Ever.
Parents need to express more and showboat less. Certainly my kid is very smart and talented in various ways. But none of tht actually means anything if she doesn’t know that not only do I love her, but I will always be there for her – no matter the circumstance.
The title of this post may offend some because of course, we all love our chldren. The question is how it’s shown to them that we actually do love them. Are they just those that we occasionally place on display for family or friends, or is there a deeper commitment to that person, yes person, that we brought into this world?
Parents, whether they realize it or not, have a huge responsibility for the future. How we raise our children today will determine how they view not only their own lives, but society in general.
Yes. I love my baby girl very much. And she knows it. Everyday.