I have to say that one type of person I will absolutely have nothing to do with is a congenital liar. Someone that I can never trust to tell me the truth in any situation. That kind of person, in my experience is someone that will not look me straight in the eyes while they’re speaking to me. That’s always the first clue that there’s an attempt to deceive me.
Everybody lies. Yep, I just said it and I believe that to be true. There’s a difference though in telling a white lie, to save someone’s feelings, and just out and out making things up that never happened.
I wrote a post the other day about a now former lifelong friend and a short telephone conversation we had. Today, I received a email from that same person that attempted to minimize what he said. In other words, he was either lying to me the other day on the phone, or he’s lying to me in the email from today.
I didn’t, and won’t respond to the email. Another friend told me that I should respond, to try and repair the friendship as it seems like is at least the attempt in the email. I’m over it. I don’t need to be friends with someone that thinks so little of me. Someone I’ve known most of my life. I reject the attempt to backdown. He either meant what he said initially, or didn’t. In my view, that makes a person untrustworthy.
I’ve said some things to people that I later regretted saying as I’m sure everyone has in their life. I’ve lost friends because of it, but I never came back later and said,“Well, I didn’t really mean that” because I did mean it. Why would anyone say something they didn’t really mean to say?
When I was a lot younger, I always disliked confrontation, even though I knew the friend or colleague was straight up lying to me. I would just listen to the lie, and walk away. After a few years, I decided that was not the best tact to take.
I still am of the same mind. I really believe that what people tell me initially is what they really believe. Coming back later, trying to restate what they actually meant, is worse.