I think everyone goes through a time in their life when there seems to be an obstacle that appears to be insurmountable. However we look at it, there seems to be no solution. Of course that places us in a more frenetic state of mind where we are jumping from one possible solution to another, none of which end up being viable. A state of depression ensues where there doesn’t seem to be any sort of outcome to whatever the problem is, and there’s no one that could feasibly be of assistance.
The issue could be anything. It could be the loss of a job that places personal or family finances in jeopardy. A loss of a loved one, from a multitude of causes. Most of these though are not so dramatic. A job loss can easily be overcome and in my personal experience, has worked out for the better in the long term because the new work, the employer, was a much better situation. I lost both of my parents to disease. and of course I was angry, at myself, because I had lived away for so long that I didn’t spend the time with them that I probably should have.
It’s the smaller things though, those little decisions made in life that when they look at first to be a good idea, come back to bite you. In that case, we often suddenly go into a panic and ask ourselves, how could I be that stupid? I recently went through one of those niggling problems myself. in a few minutes, this small thing became life changing for me. I actually lost sleep over it and as hard as I thought, I could not find an exit. It was completely frustrating for me and even though in reality, it was a small thing, I had blown it up in my mind to be something larger than what it actually was.
I think we all do this on occasion. I know I have had this experience more than once in my own life. Sometimes, things work out for the best, other times, I just have to eat it and learn from the experience. No one died, no one went to jail, there was nothing there to do other than remember that I am fallible and can be fooled by my own hubris. What works for me is placing it aside. Deciding that, okay, I’m just going to have to suck it up and, like in the recent event, pay what it costs. I compartmentalized. It’s not giving up, more than just deciding that whatever it is is not worth losing sleep over.
That actually, most times, works for me whether the result is what I want it to be or not. I was calm, and in my recent incident, that allowed me to move on with the rest of my life not allowing some small incident become overwhelming in my mind. In fact, the problem turned out to be anything but as a solution presented itself to me by just not worrying about it. Once I’d set it aside, knowing that the rest of life would continue on whether I was panicked or not, allowed me to actually find the solution.
Everything doesn’t work this way, but the less we panic over every problem that appears in our lives, the better we can work through them, and maybe most of the time, those things we deem unresolvable, actually are.
One thought on “Traumatizing Yourself”
There are bumper sticker quotes that seem trite and maybe lame; “Keep Calm and Carry On,” “Let Go and Let God,” “One Day At A Time.” But many times these simple instructions from a leader, a mother or belief help immensely. They each remind us to not panic, that this will pass, it is not TEOTWAWKI and if we hold tight and consider our situation, it is possible to survive it, get past it and get on with our lives.
Support groups help, whatever sort they are. I mean family, close friends, neighbors, the church one belongs to, co-workers. It must be very scary if one is alone and most difficult to recover from trauma.
Our families live on the farm and we are “in each others business” as they say, but that means what affects one of us matters to us all. The phrase I use is “All is well. We are together.”
Simple, lame, corny, trite…but powerful. Weathering the storm while knowing there is somebody who has “got your back” makes all the difference. For many of our fellow human beings, we must acknowledge, that is a deity.